Why do we hide from our own emotions

Intellectualizing your emotions is just another fancy way to say that you’re shielding yourself from the way you really feel.

You know, if you ask me, it all comes down to fear.  

Fear of others judging you. Fear of you appearing too weak. Fear of being hurt.  

How to unhide your emotions

Here are a few tips to help you get back in touch with yourself and your core emotions.

1. Feel the emotion

Are you angry? Good – breathe through the anger.

Are you hurt? Excellent – let it hurt so it heals faster.

Are you sad? Well, last I’ve heard, crying makes you feel better.

Liberating, right?

Don’t deny yourself the right to experience the full emotional spectrum. Don’t numb the negative – because you may accidentally numb the positive too.

2. Become emotionally aware

Most of the time, we’re all too busy to notice how we really feel.

You know what I mean: it’s easier to just say you’re overwhelmed a bit or feeling depressed rather than find the real emotion.

I want you to change that.

Start by identifying the emotions you struggle  the most. Love yourself unconditionally and dig deep under the surface. You deserve to be at peace with your own feelings.  

Extra tip: Struggle to pinpoint the emotions you struggle with the most? Ask someone – a close friend or a trusted family member, someone who knows you well. I’m sure they’ll be happy to help!  


3. Don’t use fancy words to cool down your emotions

Are you unconsciously choosing words to lower the intensity of your emotions? 

Something like - I’m just slightly anxious today when in fact, you’re terrified and keep overthinking that big event tomorrow. 

Actually, we’re all guilty of doing this. Cooling down the negative emotions is the socially acceptable way of dealing with emotions as an adult. 

But that doesn’t mean it’s the right way. 

Next time you’re not having the best day ever, just say it as it is, plain and simple. Give yourself the freedom to work through it in a healthy way. 

There’s nothing wrong with acknowledging the primary emotion. 

4. Go back to being a five-year-old  

Being mature doesn’t mean you have to stop feeling altogether. Children are incredibly honest and so in touch with their real selves – we’ve forgotten what that looks and feels like.  

If you’re going through a rough patch, let the child in you speak.

Are you hurt? Offended? Heartbroken? All of those are valid feelings! Say it as it feels.

For instance, if you keep worrying about that date you have on Friday, don’t just say you’re worried or nervous. 

Call your best friend and simply tell her - hey, so I’ve been overthinking about this date and I’m really scared whether or not I’ll leave the right impression.

Contrary to what you’ve been told, adults too have the right to be scared or sad or angry.

Do you find yourself intellectualizing your very own emotions? What’s the one emotion you’re struggling the most to identify?

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