How to Love Yourself on a Bad Day
It’s easy to love yourself when life’s good.
But how do you keep the self-love tank full when real life gets in the way? Is there a way to be less judgmental – and instead, shower yourself with love and appreciation when you need it the most?
My experience tells me this that’s reaaaaally tricky!
But tricky doesn’t mean impossible.
No need to undergo a self-inflicted mental torture each time life throws a fit. You didn’t do anything wrong.
And I know you deserve better.
Join me here as we talk more about why we often fail to give ourselves love when we need it the most and what you can do to learn how to love yourself on a bad day.
Shouldn’t we love ourselves the most in times of need?
I know what you’re thinking now.
Isn’t it logical – basic human survival instinct, if nothing else – to love yourself the most in times of need? To care for yourself the most? To think of yourself as the greatest, all the time?
Well, it would be – if it weren’t for your inner critic.
If you’re a perfectionist, your inner critic can be pretty loud even on the most average of days – and let alone when things are going south! Actually, I’ve come to realize that sometimes, my day isn’t half as bad as the voice in my head makes it to be!
But life doesn’t have to be like that.
You don’t have to believe everything that evil voice is telling you.
In fact, you can win over that voice in your head. You are love – and everyone is able to practice self-love and compassion toward themselves. *yes, even on the days when you didn’t think it was possible.*
How to love yourself on a bad day!
Here are the 6 ways you can practice self-love even on days when you really don’t feel like it!
1. Self-kindness is a MUST!
Do you know how to be kind to yourself?
Most people don’t – they know how to be either neutral or mean. And when the occasional bad day comes around the corner… ouch!
When I realized this, I was appalled. How come it doesn’t come naturally to me to praise my own being? How come I can’t give myself enough recognition?
Then I realized that judging myself for not knowing HOW to practice kindness is simply another way my own ego is playing tricks on me and wants me to feel bad.
The thing is, self-kindness is a skill. The same as any other skill out there. The more you practice it, the better you become at it.
Practice self-kindness every day, not only when things are rough – and you’ll soon learn how to be extra kind when needed.
2. Treat yourself as a friend
I know – this is the biggest cliché ever! Everyone tells you to treat yourself as your best friend but no one tells you how.
Well, here’s a trick a friend told me once.
Instead of overthinking everything in your head – and looking to find even more ways to hurt yourself – say everything you have to say out loud. Seriously!
Everything you’re thinking, right then and there, say it! Loud and clear. Even better – say it in front of a mirror!
I am willing to bet that you are going to be SHOCKED when you hear words like that being said aloud. And then, the magic happens – you STAND UP for yourself!
It’s instinct, you can’t fight it! That’s what you’d do for a friend, right? You’d defend them!
The thing is, you become defensive as soon as you hear those words being mouthed.
You trick your own mind – you convince your brain someone else is saying them to you!
Trust me, that act alone is enough to make your inner critic disappear into thin air RIGHT AWAY!
3. Do yourself up!
Let’s be honest here, no one feels like dressing up on a bad day.
But when you feel like you’d rather spend all day crying in bed, that’s your cue to do something nice for yourself.
Step into the shower. Wash your hair – dry it and style it afterward. Apply your favorite lotion. A spray of perfume. Put on the most basic makeup of your choice – yes, even a lipstick counts!
And then choose your favorite outfit. I don’t care how inappropriate it is to wear a gown around the house – if you feel like a gown will make you feel better, then by all means, do it!
It’s still a better choice than crying with your PJ’s on, right?
Besides, once you look good, you feel good. It’s the inevitable consequence of taking care of yourself.
4. Let go of the negativity
Okay, so let me explain this a bit better. There’s a major difference between making it through a bad day with confidence and pretending you don’t feel anything.
You won’t do yourself a favor if you simply ignore what’s going on. Trust me, I’ve been there and I’ve done that – and it came back to haunt me in more ways than one.
It’s okay to be angry, sad, or disappointed or hurt or all of them at the same time. Even negative emotions are legitimate emotions you have the right to feel!
The healthy way to deal with them is to learn how to process them effectively.
Find whatever works for you the most. Talk to a friend. Journal your feelings. Write a letter to whoever hurt you. Go for a run – or cry while walking in the rain. Self-care is what ultimately matters here.
5. Log out of social media!
If your day is a living nightmare, social media won’t cheer you up. You can’t fight a bad day online.
In fact, I’ve noticed one thing.
The worse I feel, the more time I spend glued on my phone. The more I need myself, the more I’m tempted to ask others to give me what I want.
Remember, each time you seek the reassurance of others, you’re actually seeking your own reassurance. Each time you want others to love you, you lack self-love.
Give yourself what you want. Tend to your own needs. Because if you don’t, no matter how much love and attention you receive from others – it’ll never be enough to fill up your tank and make your day better.
6. Acceptance above all
I’d be a big fat liar if I told you that nothing bad is going to happen to you ever again.
At one point in the future, your day will suck, again – and mine, and yours, and your best friend’s… and to everyone else on the planet.
BUT a bad day doesn’t mean a bad life.
You have no control of what’s going to happen in the future. You really don’t. The only control you have is over how you react to what happens.
And that’s why I love spirituality – because it gives me the confidence that I can deal with everything and anything that stands in front of me.
Accept it. Don’t give bumps in the road that much power over you. Keep going on your journey.
After all, life’s all about the yin and yang, the black and white, the mind and the body… you can’t really know lightness if you haven’t seen darkness, can you?
Do you struggle with loving yourself while going through trauma? How do you deal with it? How do you remind yourself of your worth?
Share with me in the comments and let me know!