Are You Afraid of Being Alone?
Are you afraid of being alone?
I know it sure took me a while to learn how to enjoy myself. And that’s why I wanted to talk to you about how to overcome fear of being lonely.
Being alone and being lonely are not the same. However, we often subconsciously associate the one with the other – and end up dreading the time we need to spend alone!
That’s exactly why you should overcome your fear of being alone – so you don’t dread your own presence. Once you do, you’ll realize not only that you enjoy your own company more but also, that you’re happier and more content with the life you’ve created yourself.
Keep reading on to find out what’s my personal experience and what did I do to overcome the fear of being lonely.
First things first:
I know that no man is an island.
I’m aware we need people in our lives.
But I’m also aware that we often need to spend some time alone – be it at work, at home, or during a walk in the park.
The thing is this:
We’ve gotten used to having so many people around us all the time, that silence often feels dangerous. It feels unnatural. It feels scary.
The first time I was supposed to live on my own, I dreaded the loneliness that came with it.
I didn’t think possible I’d ever enjoy the silence. I constantly felt the need to surround myself with people in order to drown the voices in my head.
Here’s my story where I talk about what it felt like to start living on my own when I was mere 19-years old!
But I want to show you that it doesn’t have to be that way.
You can enjoy the silence – and the serenity that comes with it.
You can be friends with the voices in your head – they’re not your enemies, they are you!
You can be alone – without feeling lonely.
Here’s how I overcame the fear of being lonely – and you can do too!
Take responsibility for your feelings
You can’t rely on anyone else to make you happy – same as you can’t rely on anyone else to not make you feel lonely.
Remember, alone & lonely are not the same things. Having someone be with you constantly doesn’t mean you won’t ever feel lonely. People change and go walk their own paths in life.
Actually, the worst possible thing is walking on a path that’s not yours for the sake of not being lonely & being surrounded with people that make you feel lonely anyway!
If that’s the case, then trust me, you’re better off on your own.
Seek the problem in the past
Are the skeletons in the closet skill haunting your present? I know mine were until I gathered the courage to face them.
Abandonment issues start developing early in the childhood – look there to find the solution to your present-day fear of being alone.
Maybe a parent left you – like my dad left me. Maybe something scary happened to one or both of your parents. Maybe your parents grounded you by making you stay alone in your room.
Events like that are traumatizing for a child – and it’s only natural they would’ve kick-started your irrational fear of being alone once you grew up.
Here’s my take on how to heal from the past.
Build the relationship with yourself
One of the biggest reasons why people are scared of being on their own is because they have to face themselves. And that often feels like spending time stuck with a complete stranger.
Don’t waste your time with people not worthy of your attention just for the sake of not being alone.
Instead, treat yourself the same way you treat your best friend. Talk to yourself – and then listen closely.
Ask yourself how you are feeling, what you can do to feel better today and is there something troubling you. You’d be surprised just how much you’re hiding from yourself when you’re surrounded your people!
Change your mindset from negative to positive
You can’t expect to start enjoying your alone time if you look at it as something negative.
Shift your perception – don’t look at it as punishment you didn’t deserve, look at it as an opportunity to have fun!
Take the time to spoil yourself. Listen to your favorite music, cook your favorite food, watch your favorite movie – simply put, enjoy being on your own!
You can do whatever your heart desires – and more! Once you get used to this, you’ll realize you’ve discovered a whole new level of freedom!
Actually, I’ve grown so used to living on my own – and enjoying every single minute of it – that it’ll take a LOT for me to move in and share a life with someone else!
How about you – what’s your experience like?
Are you scared of being on your own? What do you do to overcome your fear? Drop me a comment and share your story with me, I’d love to hear your experience!