9 Life Lessons You Can Learn from Breakups
Do you feel lonely after a breakup? Do you find it hard to be on your own? Are you scared that you’ll be lonely – forever?
Let me answer that for you – yes, yes, yes!
I’ve walked in the exact same shoes plenty of times. But I learned that breakups are okay – as long as you give yourself a chance to get something out of them.
Once you do, you’d finally understand the meaning behind everything happens for a reason.
Read on to find out why breakups are okay and what are the life lessons I learned from my own breakups!
Before we jump to the life lessons…
…I want you to take the time and think well.
I want you to identify what your ex-partner was providing you that you’re not providing yourself.
Were they good for your self-confidence? Did they shower you with attention? Did you feel peaceful around them?
Here’s a video where I share my story about what I’ve learned from past breakups. (don’t worry, it’s short & sweet)
I can’t stress this enough in all of my blog posts and videos: you can’t fight and win if you don’t know what you’re fighting against.
You can’t win over your demons if you don’t know what caused them in the first place.
Take a good look inside your head and identify the spirits of your past that are still haunting you!
Here are the life lessons I’ve managed to learn from my past relationships!
#1 You should always come first
How many times have you neglected yourself – and your needs & your free time & your life – for your partner? I know I’ve done this far too many times in the past.
Don’t wait for the breakup to happen to remind yourself that you have a life of your own too. You can have your own life and be in a relationship.
Your partner should only be the cherry on top of your already-made cake. You can’t wait for them to bring the whole cake on their own.
#2 No point in feeling guilty
Sometimes, things don’t work out even if there isn’t a solid reason behind it. They simply don’t – the end. And often, love isn’t enough to make up for everything else.
Drop the guilt and instead, focus on better, brighter things waiting for you ahead.
#3 Quality before quantity
You can spend every day together but it won’t mean much if both of you end up staring at your phones at the end of the day. Sooner rather than later, you end up feeling disconnected from each other and that’s when things go south.
Instead of spending a lot of low-quality time together, focus on spending enough high-quality time together.
#4 Find your peace
No relationship will ever work if you haven’t found your peace yet.
Forget what the movies are telling you. You don’t need anyone to complete you. Complete yourself first before allowing someone else in your life.
#5 It takes two to tango…
… and it takes two for the relationship to work.
You can try as much as you want but sometimes, the other side won’t give in even half of the effort you’re giving to.
Let them go – if you haven’t already. They need to find their peace first.
#6 Listen to your gut
Mind the red flags. Sometimes, there are big, flashy, red flags that we chose to ignore on purpose. We lightly brush them off only to regret that later.
Or as the saying goes – whenever someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.
#7 Give yourself time to heal
One of the biggest mistakes you can do is jump from one relationship to the next without giving yourself time to grieve the loss. You’ll end up emotionally exhausted and you’ll hurt innocent people in the process. Instead, allow yourself time to feel sad and heal on your own.
#8 Actions matter more than words
Someone can tell you the sweetest things but do the exact opposite of what they’re telling you.
I mean, if he did love me a lot like he said, why did he cheat on me? I’d never hurt someone I love so I guess he didn’t even love me in the first place.
Look for actions, not empty words. That’s where true love is hiding.
#9 Forgive & forget
If someone wants to leave, let them go. They’ll make room for someone who wants to stay in your life.
Don’t hold any grudges - it’s probably for the best if things didn’t work out anyway.
Just move on with your life and someone worth your time will eventually show up.
What have you learned from your past breakups? Has anyone hurt you that much that you changed your personality? Drop me a comment and let me know – I’d love to talk to you!